5 things women need to know about men….
- Men are not like us. They are a different species. Your boyfriend is not your best girl friend. Men are hard wired differently. Women physiologically have a greater capacity for understanding and processing their emotions. Don’t expect your guy to have the depth of emotional self-awareness that you do. Trust that he is doing his best and being the best boyfriend he can be. If he comes over at 2am to get rid of a scary spider, puts together your IKEA shelves and helps your dad paint the fence, he loves you. He is probably better at showing it than saying it.
- Men fall in love in the spaces. Women fall in love when we are together. Let him miss you, think about you. He has a biological imperative to be the pursuer – nothing changes this. Let him be the one to call first, to email first etc. Let him ask YOU out. Don’t engineer a meeting unless you want to be the one who engineers the relationship for the rest of time. Don’t ask him on a date or send him a romantic card unless you want to be the pursuer in the relationship. Be honest. Which one is more gratifying – sending him a card or flowers or having him send them to you?
- Men listen to your actions, not your words. ‘Tawking’ about the relationship won’t fix it. Change what you DO – be less available, more feminine. Complaining that he is late home every night won’t change anything. YOU be the one who is late home, busy with friends or at the gym. And do it with love and happiness. Let go of the resentment and change YOUR behaviour.
- Men are visual. Accept it. Do what you have to do. Lose weight, get a make over. Be the most attractive you that you can be. It’s good for your self-esteem, which is good for your relationship! He is going to look at other women. Don’t make a big deal out of it. A good guy will do it discreetly. If he ogles and leers at other women and compares you, he is not a good guy. Next!
- Men are not the enemy. There is nothing your boyfriend wants more than to make you the happiest woman in the world. Be easy to please, show gratitude and appreciation. A wise woman once said to me ‘Don’t criticise, condemn or complain.’ If you need to tell him something, say it directly and concisely. Tell him what the problem is and if you have a preference, tell him that too. Instead of “You always leave your towels on the floor and I am sick of stepping over them. You’re such a slob! I’m not your maid! Why don’t you pick up after yourself!”, try saying “Honey, can hang your towel out after you’re finished. It makes things easier.” If he doesn’t, let the towels sit there. You AREN’T his maid. He can pick them up and throw them in the laundry or suffer the consequences of not having clean towels. Bitching at him achieves nothing.
What do YOU think women need to know about men?
What would you like to tell your younger sister (or equivalent thereof) about guys?